It occurred to me today that if there is just one person that is standing behind you in all that you do, its more than enough. I thought of this as I was driving. Which, it seems that's all I ever do. Anyhow, its a good time to think, reflect.
I'm nearly forty-two years old and I have just recently learned this lesson, learned it for real. I have made a life built on the principle that I am alone. Today I know for a fact that I am not. I was probably never totally alone before. I know that. Its just that now, I know for sure.
That alone feeling had quite a bit to do with me and how I held myself apart from others. For as far back as I can recall I have been afraid of anything that resembled love on any level. I have walked away from friends and lovers because of it. Fear. Such bullshit.
There have been a great number of changes in my life in the last three years. Some tragic and some wonderful. Each of those things has created a path to where I am now. In this fabulous place where I know that no matter what I am up against, when I look back over my shoulder to see if I am facing this villain alone. I see my best friend. The person who laughs at all my jokes, good and bad, who makes me smile, and, who lets me know that as I continue on this path, he is standing behind me.
